Monday, October 20, 2008

Sing My Song


I've decided that, rather than blather on about the bailout, this post is going to be more in the form of "Ramblings;" those familiar with Bill Simmons will know what I'm talking about. I'm going to hit a lot more subjects with much shorter paragraphs. Grab something sturdy and hold on. Oh, and 20 points to the first person who gets why I went with that title.

1. I understand the necessity of the bailout as far as unfreezing credit markets goes. I understand the concept of directly purchasing stakes in the banks to restore confidence and enable flexibility. I even understand that the complexity of the problem (seeing as the problem lies in at least four separate areas of credit) requires an immediate response of massive proportions. What bothers me about this bailout, like most things this administration has done, is the precedent. Pumping substantial money into businesses that by all rights deserve to fail for their irresponsible speculation and mindless greed functions against the basic principles of capitalism. Those who know me should know by now that I'm not the world's biggest defender of capitalism because it leads to problems like this where a whole industry can go under thanks to rampant greed and unchecked idiocy. The issue is that the people in charge of this bailout ARE the world's biggest defenders of capitalism. Deregulation and government promotion of the laissez-fair attitude are part of what got us into this mess in the first place; for years now, President Bush has pushed his tax breaks with the tagline "Don't worry, the market will fix itself." Well, that's what the market's doing now; the ones who stupidly pursued securities in risky mortgage debt are failing, while those that kept their assets in more stable funds remain solvent. So what's our solution? Give money to the people who made bad choices! If these people can be paid off for their ignorance, what's the limit? Will we subsidize the oil companies when the first cars that run on compressed air and magnets are released? Will we have to pay when retailers underperform this Christmas? Will we be paying for farmers who can't grow crops? (OK, that last one was a bad example.)

Again, I understand the bailout's necessity. I just hate the precedent it sets.

2. I might hate nearly every appointment President Bush has made, as most smack of cronyism (Alberto Gonzalez and Harriet Miers, anyone?) or just flat-out arrogance (John Bolton, Samuel Alito). The one appointment I can't disagree with, however, is Robert Gates, who has done a nice job as Secretary of Defense. Intelligent, measured, willing to disagree with or even ignore the claims of the power-hungry executive branch, he is a marked improvement over his predecessor. Then again, a severely impaired box turtle with a very busy schedule could do a better job than Rumsfeld did. I hope the next administration keeps him on in some form, preferably as a foreign policy advisor. I don't expect him to stay Secretary of Defense, but there's no reason to just kick him to the curb.

3. I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, but undecided voters have to be the dumbest people on Earth. I can offer some level of grudging respect to McCain supporters; at least they know what they want, even if it is the most blindingly incompetent campaign of all time. How in the name of Vishnu can people not know what they want from their candidate at this point? Even worse, how can they watch the staggering ignorance coming out of the McCain campaign (more on this to come) and put any trust in his side to do anything they claim? I think Stephen Colbert said it best tonight when he discussed Colin Powell's endorsement of Obama (more to come on this, too): "You want a transformative figure? Vote for McCain! This campaign has transformed him into everything he used to hate!" You've had nearly two years to hear anything and everything about these candidates, and if that wasn't enough, you've had three debates to figure out where they differ on the issues (when they aren't talking about Bill Ayers). If you haven't picked by now, you should be required to forfeit your right to vote. You obviously can't make up your mind based on the facts, so disenfranchisement will save you from making a decision that's obviously beyond your thinking capacity.

4. As any of you who read the news know, former Secretary of State Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama this weekend. Naturally, the first question Pat Buchanan had to ask was "Would he have endorsed Barack Obama if he was a white liberal Democrat?" You know, I've come to accept the fact that race is going to play a part in this election because this country is full of idiots who put race and\or religion at the top of their decision-making process. Voting for or against someone solely because they're black or Muslim (he's not, but why should it matter?) is the single most pathetic reason I can think of to justify casting a ballot, but I understand that it's going to happen, and despite my disgust that it's going to affect this race, I've made peace with it. To suggest that Colin Powell, a known conservative, former general, and a rather intelligent man, would be the type to make his decision based solely on race smacks of racism.

5. If you haven't seen Bill Maher's new movie "Religulous," do it, while you still can. Those who know me know that I don't ridicule faith in and of itself, but I do ridicule those who blindly accept it without asking tough questions about why they believe what they do. Maher asks those questions without reservation in this movie, which earns him my eternal respect. If you come out of this movie still believing whatever you believe, good for you; you've challenged your convictions and they've come out all the stronger for the challenge. If you don't believe following this, then you believed for all the wrong reasons, and you should be glad that the flimsiness of your faith was exposed now, when you can still find something that resonates more strongly with you. If you refuse to see the movie solely on account of "blasphemy," then you're a waste of brain matter; the inability to question your convictions indicates that you lack the mental fortitude to handle any sort of challenge to your established worldview.

6. Speaking of people who are a waste of brain matter, several people have asked my opinion on Sarah Palin. To fully divulge my opinion would require several hours of writing and more expletives than I care to put in one post. Suffice it to say, I think she is the most woefully unqualified, undeniably ignorant, unquestionably dangerous person ever to be put in this sort of position. She visits a faith-healer to cleanse her of witches, for Marduk's sake! Her pastor (who for some reason hasn't been scrutinized nearly as much as Rev. Wright, go figure) believes that Alaska is the last refuge for the true believers during the Rapture, and that people who voted for Kerry won't be saved! She wants to hunt elk from helicopters! The things that she claims to be against (say, for example, the Bridge to Nowhere) only meet her opposition when it becomes politically necessary; until they do, she's all for them! She doesn't answer the questions posed to her, but instead performs the Nixonian art of talking around the question until the interviewer becomes frustrated and gives up! Why are people letting her get away with this? This woman makes Dan Quayle look like the head of frickin' Mensa. I know what people are going to say: "But she's just like me! I've never gotten to vote for someone like me before." Guess what? There's a reason for that: YOU AREN'T QUALIFIED TO BE VICE-PRESIDENT! Do people understand that we could be one John McCain heart attack away from President Palin? Does that register with people? How can you not be terrified by that possibility?

7. Every day I read something about a soldier or an aid worker dying in Afghanistan. One more life lost because of this administration's arrogance and refusal to prioritize its own War on Terror ahead of conquering an oil state. May the fallen rest in peace, and may the idiots who put them in this position never rest until we fix this problem, get our men and women over there some help, and get them out.

All right, I'm starting to feel like Keith Olbermann, so I guess that's all for now. As long as I'm channeling him, might as well end the same way. Good night, and good luck.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Children, Children, Future, Future


To those turning in for my post on the bailout, I must apologize. Things have been a little unsettled and crazy this week (quitting your job will do that), so it's not quite ready yet. I should have it up in a couple days. In the meantime, I've decided to introduce you to the next great Role Model: Danny Donkey. Remember, the children ARE our future.

On One's Mission In Life

On Handling Bullies

On Waiting Your Turn

On Dealing With People

On Being An Activist

On Tough Decisions

Again, my latest vitriol should be ready soon. Until then, bang your head against a wall as you wish you had thought up the preceding concept.